The Unique Dating and Mating of Israel

"Israelis tend to have a macho bravado in dating and everyday life and reassure themselves that everything will be fine even if it won't." (Rosenthal, 23) This quote does well in summarizing Israels personality as well as its perspective on life and dating. There is such a grave amount of uncertainty of the outcome of day to day life that most Israelis try to indulge their desires as a means of escaping the horrors of violence and also, in case they become a victim of it. This is best illustrated by Ori, a young boy on the verge of loosing his virginity with his girlfriend when Iraqi scud missiles began raining down in his vicinity. Ori and his girlfriend hid and put on their gas masks and tried again to have sex, though, the presence of the scuds naturally killed the mood. The next time Ori's girlfriend slept over, they once again tried to have sex and once again had to deal with Iraqi scuds raining down. This time, remarkably, Ori did not let the scud threat intervene with his sexual conquest; Ori and his girlfriend made love despite the threat of scud missiles. (Rosenthal,24-25)

Ori and his girlfriend display a common theme portrayed in daily Israeli community which is not to let the threat of terror dictate Israeli life. Ori explains, "We have what I call national Alzheimer's disease-no one wants to remember the morning's news. Life is uncertain, so eat your dessert first." (Rosenthal, 25)

While it may seem as though Israel possesses a very promiscuous generation of youth there is a variety of reasoning for this. While many Americans in comparison also experiment with premarital sex in their late teens and through out their twenties, they are usually starting blue collar jobs or attending college while Israeli young men and women and being drafted into the armed services. Americans are also relatively safe especially when compared to residents of Israel who constantly live with the uncertainty of a terrorist attack. Israelis arguably have more of a purpose for pursuing casual sex than Americans. It undoubtedly helps them find pleasure in a region afflicted with uncertainty and at times, morbid chaos. This perhaps explains why flirting and sexual harassment vary in such a large degree between the two countries. A pat on a woman's buttocks or a comment about her lovely breasts would land some severe disciplinary actions against a man in America though Israelis view it as a compliment or flirting. Israeli women are also promiscuous and look for common encounters with men in order to achieve some temporary enjoyment. One example of this is when Efrat, a woman in the Israeli army, was deeply infatuated with her commanding officer on a romantic level. When she confessed her feelings to him, he told her he must adhere to the rules and could not have a relationship with her. After his military service expired and he was discharged he and Efrat had a relationship. It didn't last long and when Efrat was asked how the romance went she replied "Wonderfully. Intense. After I got out (of the army), I broke up with him. I want to experience lots of men." (Rosenthal, 44-45) In Efrat's case, she ended her relationship with her former commanding officer (which was going well according to her) because she wanted to start all over with another man. Efrat and many Israeli youth treat relationships like a shower, you stay in while it's hot and get out when it starts to get cold. Even if a relationship is going well, once that initial spark of being in a new relationship begins to extinguish, they jump ship.

Many youth eventually outgrow their rampant sexual urges and eventually settle down with a spouse. This is an important aspect of Israeli culture do to the fact that they are a small nation and need to continue to grow. Therefore, "For a strong Israel, Jews need to marry and multiply." (Rosenthal, 36-37) Despite this fact, roughly one third of the population of Israel that is of childbearing age, is single. (Rosenthal, 36) To compensate for this, a variety of Israeli dating sites have been established to help these individuals get hitched. In some instances, these sites encourage foreign Jews to immigrate to Israel to meet their spouse. This way the population will increase slightly more rather than if to Israeli's were getting married. It's also important to note and emphasize the significance that Jews are marrying Jews. Ironically, despite all of the anti-semitism Jews have faced in recorded history, they display a drastic amount of anti-semitism towards couples that consist of only one Jew. Vandalism, threats, and even being disowned by ones family can result from one of these relationships. Naturally, because of the consequences, these relationships are discouraged and are often rare in Israel. (Rosenthal, 37-38)